"Hey so I was just doing laundry and remembered that the last time I had sex was with you and I'm getting pretty frustrated so how about you come over today and we fuck and you can pick up whatever items you need for your apartment? Ok? Just let me know :-)"
No response from me.
"So it seems you are not down with the ex sex :-) "
No response.
"Damn the rest of my life with no sex...that's going to make me grumpy :-)"
OMFG!!!!! I can't even muster the sarcasm with which these texts should be mocked.
Oh wait, I can.
Yeah, how about I come over and we fuck. 11 years of horrible sex and feeling like I was being raped wasn't enough for you, we need to do it again?
How about I leave my fabulous boyfriend's warm bed and come visit you - no one has put me down or made me feel inadequate lately, I'm missing being not good enough for my partner.
And maybe if you learned how to please a woman, you wouldn't have to be alone and grumpy the rest of your life.
Or maybe I can just feel sorry for you and buy you a subscription to Barnyard Babes or something.
Nah, you're not even worth that.
